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I've let my fluctuation of serotonin sabotage happiness for too long
It is time I forgive myself and my family, as letting go will propel our souls into serenity

To my mother, Scarlet Rose Red:
You were right to ask for the divorce
Your bipolar nature morphed your love into different shades of mania and melancholy
You recognized that all of us needed to go our separate ways
It was for the best and I was wrong to question your motives
And though I struggle to express it, know that part of me will always love you genuinely

To my father, David Azure Blue:
You were tired of living a lie
Your borderline personality predisposed you to fragmenting and manipulating your relationships
You started multiple families in multiple places before ours to fill the void that was your childhood
Despite your absent-mindedness, you were the only one of us not to abandon ship, and I commend you
Though I struggle to express it, know that part of me will always love you deep down

To my sister, Violet Rose Belligerence:
You were the one to set you free
Your dysmorphic perception of your body was belligerent at worst
You rejected the shelter of privilege in order to see the world as it is
May the moniker of aggression no longer hold back your smile, and may our paths cross again in time
And though I struggle to express it, know that part of me will always love you without a doubt

To Jade Sinclair:
You remain an enigmatic messenger of mediation
Your guidance through the boxcar nights, trip to the Joshua trees, return to the homestead and up to the nuclear diaspora is the reason I'm still here
You sent yourself to speak for Joshua
I can't thank you enough

As for me, I will patiently serve time for my crime of arson
All that remain are the tracks that pave the path I once traveled
Although society will forever cast me on the outskirts, what I have to share is no underdog story
I must recognize that much of my anguish is derived from the distorted lens of my looking glass
And now as I remove the filter, I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and it has never shined brighter.


from Anarchy in the City of the Restless Mind, released April 14, 2017



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